The Drawing Room ‘Rishta’ hunt


Marriage is always the great question mark for a girl, a question that slowly took over her entire life. So these so-called marriage experts claim that, If, love does not knock of its own accord on your doors, then they manually construct a loving family by finding the perfect arranged marriage that both sides can approve of. And always quoting lame example that only arrange marriages are far more likely to lead to a lasting affection than love marriages. But this practice of finding a perfect marriage material for their not-so-good and ordinary looking (but quite handsome and dominant in their eyes) son is really getting excruciating, in Pakistan.

Imagine a girl who was living her life a total carefree, had a beaming personality, took laughter and joy with her wherever she went. All she wanted was a happiness and personal satisfaction – until she graduated and realized that a stable job (even in number of 6) and educated profile (even when Doctor), Its still not enough for the society she inhabited.

No matter how well she was doing, her friends and family kept asking the same question, every single time they met: “So when are you planning to get married?”

The very beautiful and colorful rainbow that she called LIFE then suddenly become full of shades she never needed.

And then the DRAWING ROOM HUNT starts. Every day, her parents talk to her about different proposals from men with white collar jobs, golden families and greying hair.

Greying hair Men! Yes, far more better, energetic (normal BP 140/100mmHg, with some acidity and flatulence problem) for a 20 year old girl. Not to mention nearly to die soon.

She is relatively unlucky when it comes to the genetic lottery. If her complexion is not as bright as society would have liked it to be. If her profession is not the proposal-type (she wasn’t a doctor). Though she won at life, she did not match the presumed guidelines for perfect marriage material.

Countless times, she dress up in a bright and colored shalwar kameez, brushed her hair, put on a perfect smile and greeted new guests, who are there to decide if they find her suitable for marriage.

But the bottom line is always the same:

“Our son is fairer than her.”

“She looks older than my son.”

“She is nothing like her pictures.”

Then some lame and pathetic comments by Dulha’s sister (Imagine a comment from a girl to girl, but this girl is DULHA’s sister this time which makes her forget about her being on same stage someday, If unmarried)

“I don’t like her teeth when she smiles. They look so big,” 

“And look at her nose. It seems like the flaring nostrils of a dragon. Bhai likes sleek, pointed noses.”

“‘She’s not a doctor.”

If a Doctor then, “We will let her sit home and make gol gol rotis” ( Yeah, that’s what she had spent all of her life; studied hard, took As so that one day she could make GOL GOL ROTIS)

And the most disturbing of all:

“We have seen four girls and we like all of them so we’ll call you when we decide.”

Needless to say, her parents never hear from these families again.

The girl during all these hunts go puzzled and depressed, eventually slowly losing her self-worth. She begun to forget all the personality traits – she stand at a point where she isn’t able to list a single attribute that she admired in herself.

 “Shatter the glass and see the world for what it is; fake nightmares, hallucinated dreams. Yet, even I can smile when I see beauty in truth and truth in beauty.”

It is my humble request to every girl who feels unlucky with love and is facing trouble getting married to not be so hard on herself.

There is more to life than marriage. Commitment, kindness and love for your own self, and for the people who matter to you, are much more meaningful than worrying non-stop about getting married. Don’t do this to yourself. Your thoughts are your companions and you are in charge of them – hire or fire them whenever you want.

The legitimacy of an early, speedy marriage is overrated. Don’t fall for it.

Stay Blessed all pretty ladies out there!


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