The Drawing Room ‘Rishta’ hunt

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Marriage is always the great question mark for a girl, a question that slowly took over her entire life. So these so-called marriage experts claim that, If, love does not knock of its own accord on your doors, then they manually construct a loving family by finding the perfect arranged marriage that both sides can approve of. And always quoting lame example that only arrange marriages are far more likely to lead to a lasting affection than love marriages. But this practice of finding a perfect marriage material for their not-so-good and ordinary looking (but quite handsome and dominant in their eyes) son is really getting excruciating, in Pakistan.

Imagine a girl who was living her life a total carefree, had a beaming personality, took laughter and joy with her wherever she went. All she wanted was a happiness and personal satisfaction – until she graduated and realized that a stable job (even in number of 6) and educated profile (even when Doctor), Its still not enough for the society she inhabited.

No matter how well she was doing, her friends and family kept asking the same question, every single time they met: “So when are you planning to get married?”

The very beautiful and colorful rainbow that she called LIFE then suddenly become full of shades she never needed.

And then the DRAWING ROOM HUNT starts. Every day, her parents talk to her about different proposals from men with white collar jobs, golden families and greying hair.

Greying hair Men! Yes, far more better, energetic (normal BP 140/100mmHg, with some acidity and flatulence problem) for a 20 year old girl. Not to mention nearly to die soon.

She is relatively unlucky when it comes to the genetic lottery. If her complexion is not as bright as society would have liked it to be. If her profession is not the proposal-type (she wasn’t a doctor). Though she won at life, she did not match the presumed guidelines for perfect marriage material.

Countless times, she dress up in a bright and colored shalwar kameez, brushed her hair, put on a perfect smile and greeted new guests, who are there to decide if they find her suitable for marriage.

But the bottom line is always the same:

“Our son is fairer than her.”

“She looks older than my son.”

“She is nothing like her pictures.”

Then some lame and pathetic comments by Dulha’s sister (Imagine a comment from a girl to girl, but this girl is DULHA’s sister this time which makes her forget about her being on same stage someday, If unmarried)

“I don’t like her teeth when she smiles. They look so big,” 

“And look at her nose. It seems like the flaring nostrils of a dragon. Bhai likes sleek, pointed noses.”

“‘She’s not a doctor.”

If a Doctor then, “We will let her sit home and make gol gol rotis” ( Yeah, that’s what she had spent all of her life; studied hard, took As so that one day she could make GOL GOL ROTIS)

And the most disturbing of all:

“We have seen four girls and we like all of them so we’ll call you when we decide.”

Needless to say, her parents never hear from these families again.

The girl during all these hunts go puzzled and depressed, eventually slowly losing her self-worth. She begun to forget all the personality traits – she stand at a point where she isn’t able to list a single attribute that she admired in herself.

 “Shatter the glass and see the world for what it is; fake nightmares, hallucinated dreams. Yet, even I can smile when I see beauty in truth and truth in beauty.”

It is my humble request to every girl who feels unlucky with love and is facing trouble getting married to not be so hard on herself.

There is more to life than marriage. Commitment, kindness and love for your own self, and for the people who matter to you, are much more meaningful than worrying non-stop about getting married. Don’t do this to yourself. Your thoughts are your companions and you are in charge of them – hire or fire them whenever you want.

The legitimacy of an early, speedy marriage is overrated. Don’t fall for it.

Stay Blessed all pretty ladies out there!

Eulogy; to be read at my Funeral

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If tomorrow starts without me;
And I’m not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry;
The way you did today;
While thinking of the many things;
We didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me;
As much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me;
know you’ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me;
Please try to understand;
That an angel came and called my name;
And took me by the hand;
And said my place was ready; In heaven far above;
And that I’d have to leave behind;
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away; A tear fell from my eye;
For all my life; I’d always thought; I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for; So much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible;That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays;The good ones and the bad;
I thought of all that we shared; And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday;
Just even for a while;
I’d say good-bye and kiss you;And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized;
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories; Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things; I might miss some tomorrow;
I thought of you; and when I did;
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates; I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me; From His great golden throne,
He said, “This is eternity,And all I’ve promised you.” Today your life on earth is past; But here life starts a new.
I promise no tomorrow; But today will always last;
And since each day is the same way; There’s no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me;
Don’t think we’re far apart; For every time you think of me;
I’m right here, in your heart .

Emotional Abuse : More violent than physical

Emotional Abuse , a silent weapon, that leaves hidden scars
that manifest themselves in numerous ways.

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This has become a common practice in our society whether in relationship or parenting or child. Just because there is no physical mark doesn’t mean the abuse isn’t real and isn’t a problem or even a crime in some countries.

Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Children, teens and adults all experience emotional abuse. And emotional abuse can have devastating consequences on relationships and all those involved. Emotional abuse, like other types of abuse, tends to take the form of a cycle. In a relationship, this cycle starts when one partner emotionally abuses the other, typically to show dominance. The abuser then feels guilt, but not about what he (or she) has done, but more over the consequences of his actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for his own behavior to avoid taking responsibility over what has happened. The abuser then resumes “normal” behavior as if the abuse never happened and may, in fact, be extra charming, apologetic and giving – making the abused party believe that the abuser is sorry. The abuser then begins to fantasize about abusing his partner again and sets up a situation in which more emotional abuse can take place.

One definition of emotional abuse is: “any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.”

Emotional abuse is also known as psychological abuse or as “chronic verbal aggression” by researchers. People who suffer from emotional abuse tend to have very low self-esteem, show personality changes (such as becoming withdrawn) and may even become depressed, anxious or suicidal.

Emotional Abuse in childrens

The effects of emotional abuse in childrens are often silent. Verbal and psychological wounds leave a child forever changed. Emotional abuse is often overlooked, unnoticed or confused with other causes.

Emotional child abuse attacks a child’s self-concept. The child comes to see him or herself as unworthy of love and affection. An infant who is being deprived of emotional nurturing, connection and bonding through close contact, even though physically well cared for, can fail to thrive.

“ I can’t believe you embarrassed me like this!,” humiliated, “You idiot!,” , “You’re really gonna get it now!” or rejected, “Go to your room!” are as equally significant, although seemingly invisible and harder to recognize or quantify than the wounds of the worst physical and sexual abuse.

Less severe forms of early emotional deprivation still can produce drastic effects of emotional abuse such as babies who grow into anxious and insecure children who are slow to develop and who may fail to develop a strong sense of self-esteem.

Other types of abuse are usually noticed because marks or other physical evidence is left, however, signs of emotional abuse can be very hard to define.

In some instances, the effects of emotional abuse are so subtle that an emotionally mistreated child may show no signs of abuse. For this reason, emotional abuse is the most difficult form of child maltreatment to identify and stop.

Insecurity, poor self-esteem, destructive behavior, angry acts such as fire setting or cruelty to animals, withdrawal, poor development of basic skills, alcohol or drug abuse, suicide and difficulty forming relationships can all be possible results of emotional abuse.

Behavioral Effects

Emotional child abuse can result in other more serious psychological and/or behavioral problems. These include depression, lack of attachment or emotional bond to a parent or guardian, low cognitive ability and educational achievement and poor social skills.

One study which followed emotionally abused children in infancy and then again during their preschool years consistently found them to be “angry, uncooperative and unattached to their primary caregiver.” These children more often also lacked creativity, persistence and enthusiasm.

Parental verbal aggression (e.g., yelling, insulting) or symbolic aggression (e.g., slamming a door, giving the silent treatment) toward children can have serious consequences.

People who witness abuse in relationships or emotional spousal abuse demonstrate higher rates of physical aggressiveness, delinquency and interpersonal problems than others. Children whose parents are additionally physically abusive are even more likely to experience such difficulties.

Children who see or hear their mothers being abused 
are victims of emotional abuse.

Growing up in such an environment is terrifying and severely affects a child’s psychological and social development. Male children may learn to model violent behavior while female children may learn that being abused is a normal part of relationships. This contributes to the multi-generational cycle of violence.

The consequences of emotional abuse can be serious and long-term. Emotionally abused person may experience a lifelong pattern of depression, estrangement, anxiety, low self-esteem, inappropriate or troubled relationships, or a lack of empathy.

Emotional Abuse in Relationships

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“No man is worth dying for. 
Especially when he’s the one killing you.”

Many women struggle to know and understand what is healthy and how they deserve to be treated. Society has not educated us from the onset to understand what our physical, emotional and mental rights are.

Please note: men are also subject to abusive behaviour. However, women are more likely to suffer physical and sexual abuse than men. Women who do physically abuse usually do in ‘battered women syndrome’. Equally men or women may become a victim of psychological or financial abuse. Therefore, even though this article positions ‘he’ as the abuser, it is also highly relevant for men who may be suffering relationship abuse.

If you allow an intimate partner to abuse you, you’ll suffer the effects of diminished self-esteem. If the abuse continues this may lead to feeling depressed and powerless which may also activate a condition known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Severe anxiety, crippling panic attacks and suicidal thoughts can emerge. If so, every aspect of your life will suffer. This is a dangerous dynamic.

Emotional abuse relates to mental and emotional abuse, and occurs when one’s personal identity, preferences, life and behaviour is being controlled mentally and emotionally by another person. Self-esteem and self-trust increased to a level whereby the victim becomes confused about ‘what is real’ and loses a sense of ‘how to be emotionally safe’. The abusive partner may be able to behave totally inappropriately and the victim of psychological abuse will cling desperately to the relationship in order to receive some sort of support, comfort, love or validation from the abuser.

Unfortunately many women idealise their men, and when you add that to the fact that she was swept off her feet by a guy she believed was ‘the one’, it’s easy to understand the stripping of her self-esteem (in the face of abuse). This will lead her to try to recapture the ‘amazing man’ she met and gain his love regardless of how he treats her.

Psychological abuse is a cruel dynamic and a very purposeful tactic employed by narcissists. This form of abuse is a common factor in many relationships.

Women commonly report that the scars of psychological abuse take much longer to heal than the effects of physical abuse. Many women who don’t access core level healing solutions remain mentally and emotionally damaged.

Psychological abuse can be very difficult to define, and can insidiously penetrate your life if you don’t know what to look out for.

The following types of behaviour all constitute psychological abuse:

  • Lying
  • Manipulating
  • Gaslighting
  • Interrogating
  • Persecuting
  • Demeaning
  • Intimidating
  • Threatening
  • Isolating
  • Blaming

The Effects of Abuse

If you have some or many of the following symptoms you are likely to be an abuse victim:

  • Agitation
    Fear, grief, nervous anxiety, ‘walking on broken glass’, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, paranoia, dread and anger.
  • Appetite
    Loss or increase of.
  • Loss of creativity and joy
    Depression, no interest in personal goals, loss of enthusiasm, loss of zest for life, possible loss of will to live.
  • Inhibited self expression
    Loss of interest in appearance, not comfortable in public, wishing members of the opposite sex didn’t exist, fear of what you say and do around people, agoraphobia, social disinterest, fear of body image, decreased libido.
  • Self-destructive behaviour
    Abuse of alcohol or drugs, promiscuity, feeling ‘addicted’ to abusive partner, suicidal thoughts or attempts.
  • Isolation
    Rarely see family or friends, mostly stay home, not allowed to go out on own, panicking if held back at work or running late for home.
  • Decreased coping skills
    Loss of decision-making ability, feel despair, rage or panic. Being overwhelmed. Bursting into tears, feeling numb.
  • Physical problems
    Adrenaline rushes, lowered immune systems, continual body aches, exhaustion, hyper-vigilance, hormone imbalances, migraines, backache, having accidents etc.
  • Sleeping patterns
    Insomnia or over-sleeping.
  • Focus on abusive partner
    Obsessing over what he’s thinking, feeling and doing, and formulating how you can employ tactics to reduce the abuse.
  • Confusion
    No longer knowing what to believe, doubting the reality of your life and environment.
  • Loss of faith in self
    Letting yourself down by continually forgiving and allowing abusive behaviour, losing boundary function, false hope, other people losing faith in you, inability to provide yourself with safety and stability.
  • Irrational behaviour
    Trying to control the uncontrollable, hysteria, feeling and acting manically, ‘losing your mind.’

Highly abusive behaviour leads to deterioration of self and often death by homicide, suicide or the contracting of a terminal illness. This is a serious matter.

If you know your mental and emotional health is suffering – something needs to change. The more you lose yourself, the harder it is to recover. You may be risking all that is dear to you and even your life.

Words of a life snoozer

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Have you ever hit the snooze button? I’m guessing you have at least once. And when you hit it— if you were awake enough to even think about it—you were probably happy knowing that you’d be getting a few more minutes of sleep, right?

You may have been dreaming a really great dream or were super comfortable in your bed, and you just weren’t ready to wake up. Maybe you had a hard time getting to sleep the night before or you just didn’t get enough sleep.

In any case, waking up would be painful, right? So it makes perfect sense that you wanted to put off feeling that pain.

But what if this were a metaphor for your life? What if each time you hit the snooze button and chose to stay asleep, you pushed away precious opportunities to wake up? And what if each time you pushed the button, you were actually postponing your life? Would you still push it?

I did. For many years. For most of my life, actually. I had gotten into the habit of hearing the wake-up call and hitting the snooze button. It wasn’t a convenient time, or I was too scared to do anything about it, or I just wanted to ignore it.

I continually hit the snooze button when I said no to opportunities to stretch out of my comfort zone and soar into a new life: an acceptance into a great college, a scholarship to study in France, and an invitation to speak at my college graduation.

I hit the snooze button because I was too afraid. I wasn’t ready to wake up and start living fully.

Ignoring the wake-up calls became such a habit that I eventually didn’t want to leave my bed at all. I wanted to continue sleeping. It was safe, warm, and comfortable there. I could pull the covers over my head and pretend that the real world didn’t exist.

I could pretend that it was perfectly okay that I was sleeping my life away.

But I could only ignore the alarms and my inner voice urging me to wake up for so long. Because two years ago, I received a wake-up call that didn’t come with a snooze button: I learned that my first love had killed himself.

In one moment, my entire world changed. I felt so much pain and so much sadness, and I couldn’t push it away. I couldn’t pretend that this wasn’t happening. I tried to go to bed and pull the covers up, but the grief went with me. I couldn’t escape it.

While we hadn’t spoken in many years, memories of our time together came rushing back. I remembered us when we were younger—full of life and promise and joy and vibrancy. I hadn’t felt any of those things for so long.

I had been too busy ignoring the wake-up calls and hitting the snooze button—trying not to feel or stretch myself.

But in this moment of extreme grief came extreme clarity: I knew that I needed to make a drastic change. My life wasn’t over yet, and it was time that I stopped acting like it was.

In that moment, I chose to throw away the snooze button. I chose to start saying yes to each opportunity that came my way: a writing career, radio interviews, and new friendships—things that I most likely would have shied away from and said no to in the past, I began to embrace. And it’s been wonderful (for the most part).

Because here’s the thing that we don’t always hear about when we read these uplifting stories from people who have overcome hardship: Waking up can be painful. It can be hard. It is definitely easier to stay asleep and continue sleepwalking through life.

Living consciously is not all roses and chocolate and anything else that we all love. There is a reason why many of us choose to remain asleep. Waking up means that we feel everything—the good and the bad.

Waking up means that we are aware of the many horrific things that are happening in the world, but we’re also aware of all of the beautiful things. Waking up means that we have to take responsibility for our lives and start moving toward our purpose. And all of this can be scary and exhausting. It’s perfectly understandable that we hit the snooze button.

But what I experienced with this wake-up call and this period of grieving is that going through the pain is a necessary part of moving into the joy.

Life is filled with good and bad and everything in between. And it’s only by choosing to wake up that we can really experience it fully.

I received a jolting wake-up call when my first love died. But I had been receiving smaller wake-up calls for years before this. We all have. And most of us choose to hit the snooze button because we aren’t ready to wake up.

The last two years have been some of the hardest moments that I have ever experienced, but they have also been the most beautiful moments.

For the first time in my life, I am wide awake—I feel everything. I am consciously creating my life, and I am truly living. I am no longer okay with postponing my life, and I have thrown away my snooze button.

If you are hearing the wake-up calls now, please don’t ignore them. You don’t have to wait until your wake-up call becomes a full-blown alarm. You don’t have to hit the snooze button any longer.

It’s true that waking up can be painful, but it’s also such a beautiful way to live. And it sure beats sleeping your life away.

Understanding men

Men may be dog but truth is we love them anyway. Many women find it incredibly difficult to understand men. What you need to understand is that we are totally different but fact is we are incomplete without them in every walk of life. So, instead of giving up, all of us should try to embrace the differences and accept each other for who we really are. Only then, we can use all of this knowledge to our advantage. Writing this is for the purpose to understand the differences between the sexes and explains how we can use these differences to our advantage.

Modern science has allowed us to study the male and female brains and come up with conclusions as to why we are so different. This is mainly down to how our brains are structured, and that’s what this article is about. It will not teach you how to make him fall in love with you but it will show you why we are so different and as soon as you understand these differences and accept them as reality, it will become much more easier to relate to men.

What can you do with this sort of information? Men love women that they can connect to, although we may never reach the same level of communication, by vocalizing your emotions more often you’ll have a higher chance of connecting with a man.

Also, by understanding what this article tried to explain (that we are incredibly different) you can change your perception on men and instead getting upset and saying “You don’t understand me!”…you can laugh inside and think to yourself, “Haha, you don’t have the ability to understand me, you primitive creature”.

Human Relationships: Women communicate much better than men, they focus on how to create a solution that works for the entire group, talking through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion and empathy. Men on the other hand, tend to be more task oriented, less talkative and more isolated. Men have a hard time understanding emotions that are not spoken, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. These differences clearly explain why men and women sometimes have difficulty in communication and why men-to-men friendships look different from friendships among women.

What does this mean? If you ever had a conversation with a man and got deep into a subject but yet felt like you spoke a completely different language well, this is to blame. In your first steps to understanding men this is the first thing you need to comprehend, MEN ARE DIFFERENT. They are so different in fact that sometimes we can’t even communicate but, if you can try to lower yourself to our level of communication, which means vocalizing the majority of your emotions, you’ll have a much better chance at properly communicating with a man.

Now, I’m not telling you to vocalize absolutely everything that you’re feeling but when a man asks you if something is wrong and you say “Nothing” you need to understand that unless you actually TELL HIM what’s wrong, he won’t have the slightest clue. Sure, you’re best friends get you and maybe even your husband if you’ve been together for years but, the average guy or even your 2 year long boyfriend won’t. Lowering yourself down to our more simple way of communicating will only make life easier for all of us.

Left brain vs both hemispheres: Experts have proven that men process better in the left hemisphere while women tend to process equally well between the two hemispheres. This difference clearly shows why men are stronger with left-brain activities and approach problem solving from a task-oriented perspective while women typically solve problems more creatively and are more aware of feelings while communicating.

What does this mean? This task oriented approach means men think in the following manner when trying to solve a problem:  “In order to solve this problem I will need to get this done first, then this other thing, then this and then they all fit into place and get this done”. Multitasking? There’s no such thing as multitasking when it comes to men…This also explains why men get angry when you are multitasking (e.g talking to them and doing something else) because they simply can’t understand what you’re doing. This is another prime example that will get you closer to accepting just how different men are and proves why men are better in some jobs (programming, business) and women in others (teaching, caretaking).

Mathematical Abilities: An area in the brain called the inferior-parietal lobule (IPL) is typically significantly larger in men, especially on the left side, than in women. This is the section responsible with mathematical ability, and probably explains why men perform higher in mathematical tasks than do women. What’s even more interesting is that this area of the brain that was abnormally large in Einstein. The IPL also processes sensory information, and the larger right side in women allows them to focus on, “specific stimuli, such as baby crying in the night”.

Reaction to stress: In stress situation men have a response reaction that resembles “fight or flight” while women react with a “tend and befriend” strategy. Psychologist Shelly E. Taylor first came up with the phrase “tend an befriend” after noticing that during times of stress women tend to take care of themselves and their children (tending) and form strong group bonds (befriending). The reason behind these different reactions to stress is down to hormones. When someone is under stress the hormone oxytocin is released into the body. In men, testosterone reduces the effects of oxytocin as it is produced in high volumes during stress; this explains the reason for the “fight or flight” response. In women, estrogen amplifies the effects of oxytocin resulting in calming and nurturing feelings.

Language: The two sections in the brain which are responsible for language have been found to be significantly larger in women than in men, indicating one reason why women typically excel in language-based subjects and in language-associated thinking. It’s also important to mention that men typically process language in one hemisphere whilst women process it in both. This differences offers a bit of protection in case of a stroke, as women may be able to recover fully from a stroke affecting the language areas in the brain while men may not have this same advantage.

Emotions: The most obvious difference is probably the emotions. Women have a larger deep limbic system than men, it allows them o be more in touch with their feelings and better able to express themselves, which promotes bonding with others. This is one of the reasons why women serve as caregivers for children. Sadly this comes with a downside as this larger deep limbic system also opens women up to depression, especially during times of hormonal shifts such as after childbirth or during a woman’s menstrual cycle.

What does this mean? Again, as I’ve mentioned above, women are much better at communicating than men so, if you want to be understood by a man you need to lower yourself to his level of communication. Vocalize what you are feeling and he will have a much easier time in understanding you. Don’t give up saying, “ah men don’t understand me”, try to make them understand and you will see that your love life success will greatly improve.

Also, it’s worth mentioning that some men understand these differences themselves and will, in turn, try to take advantage of your emotional brain by making you feel good all of the time. Sure, this may sound great, but in reality many of the men that understand this concept, often use it for their own benefit . However, it’s also important to note that many of these men live to please and if you can “keep” them you’re on the right track for a lifetime of happiness.

Brain Size: Typically, men’s brains are 11-12% bigger than women’s brains. Sadly, this difference in size has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence, but does explain the difference in size between men and women. Men need a bigger brain to control their bigger bodies and muscles.

Pain: Men and women perceive pain differently. Studies have shown that women need more morphine to reach the same level of pain reduction. They have also shown that woman vocalize their pain and seek treatment much quicker than men. During pain, an area of the brain called the amygdala is activated. Research has shown that in men the right amygdala (controls external functions) is activated and in women the left amygdala (controls internal functions) is activated. This is the reason women seem to perceive pain more intensely than men, although they can withstand higher levels of pain (childbirth).

So what can we draw from this article? Most importantly the fact that men and women are completely different. This is actually funny when you think about it because we can’t live without each other. Couples are essentially a better human being. Because both the male and female perspectives are shared regarding any life situation, life as a couple should be genuinely easier than single life. As we can say “They complete each other.

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Motivation for life

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What you occupy your mind with is of essential importance to your physical and psychological health. “Thoughts” are “An idea or mental picture, imagined by thinking or occurring suddenly in the mind.” I hold that if you channel the right thoughts you will be unstoppable in any walk of life. Break throughs are made when we change the way we think, when we alter our beliefs and open our mind to its full and witty potential.

Research shows that humans have an average of 60,000 thoughts every day. Although the idea of consistently controlling your thoughts can seem overwhelming, it is one of the most important skills you will ever learn. When you learn to gain control of your mind, you learn self motivation and can begin to take control of your life.

These 5 thoughts are mistakenly carried out by the best of us at times and may be the reason why you can’t reach that level of Success you have been hoping for.

 5 Common Bad Thoughts & How to Break Them

 Perfectionism

We have all heard the saying ‘no one is perfect’ and in my opinion……Thank God! Could you imagine a world with total perfection? It would be boring and there would be no thrill of risk and nothing better to strive for or look forward to.

I believe imperfection makes something beautiful, real and different and this is how most successful people in the world get to where they are now, by embracing their flaws/imperfections and putting everything they can into their passion.

Thomas Edison invented 3,000 duds before he invented the light bulb. He himself did not call it failure. Instead, he said: “Any of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Taking imperfect action is the best starting point.

 Comparing yourself to others

There is only one YOU and trying to be like anyone is a total waste of time I say.

Many entrepreneurs push you to follow your passion and to observe successful people and do what they do. I also believed this. Do what they do but do it in your own way; add your own personal flare and passion along with your high energy and action and you will succeed on your own accord and merit.

Everyone is unique so embrace YOU and concentrate on what you can, do not what others can do.

 Thinking that you’re not ‘good enough

Ok, so I am even a culprit of this at times however who are you or anyone else for that matter to say that you are not good enough?

I truly believe that your mind is the most powerful tool you have and thoughts become things! Start telling yourself that you are good enough, or better yet that you are too good and even if you don’t believe it, you will start to etch this out and create what once was just a vision.

We are all put on this earth for our own personal journeys and success’s and I know that no matter what anyone says, everyone has it in them to do anything they put their mind to! All you have to do is start believing it!

Doing too much at once

I read 10 books at a time and yes as thrilling as it is getting lost in 10 different stories and becoming one with all those different characters and adventures, it sure is hard to concentrate and focus on one at a time! How many books do you think I end up finishing? None!

This is a perfect example of why you concentrate on one thing at a time and don’t overload your plate with too many tasks at once. Even though it sounds fun and the excitement of wanting to finish so many things at once drives you to take everything on board, it really isn’t practical and you end up getting ¼ of everything done and finishing none of them.

Focus on one thing at a time and the satisfying feeling of accomplishing and moving forward will be enough of a reward to help you to successfully complete one thing at a time.

But I” (Excuses excuses…)

The 5th and final rule is a ban on excuses! Everyone can find an excuse to do or not to do something, this is a known fact!

Excuses help us justify the doubts we already have about something so that the risk is lessened by a self belief for why we can’t do something.

However, I have a philosophy that everything works both ways so next time you find yourself making or finding an excuse why not to do something, change your way of thinking and force yourself to come up with an excuse as to why you SHOULD do that something!

Whenever I doubt something or find myself coming up with an excuse I ask myself this one little question:

What’s the worst that can happen?

Usually my answer to this is “It won’t work out the way I want it to” and if this is what happens then you know what not to do in the future or what to do when you try next time!

It’s all easier said than done and no one can help you unless you really want to help yourself  but one thing I do know is that we are all creatures of habit so if you start to forcefully change your way of thinking by following these rules then your body and mind will soon catch on and start to think differently in your favor, automatically!