Understanding men

Men may be dog but truth is we love them anyway. Many women find it incredibly difficult to understand men. What you need to understand is that we are totally different but fact is we are incomplete without them in every walk of life. So, instead of giving up, all of us should try to embrace the differences and accept each other for who we really are. Only then, we can use all of this knowledge to our advantage. Writing this is for the purpose to understand the differences between the sexes and explains how we can use these differences to our advantage.

Modern science has allowed us to study the male and female brains and come up with conclusions as to why we are so different. This is mainly down to how our brains are structured, and that’s what this article is about. It will not teach you how to make him fall in love with you but it will show you why we are so different and as soon as you understand these differences and accept them as reality, it will become much more easier to relate to men.

What can you do with this sort of information? Men love women that they can connect to, although we may never reach the same level of communication, by vocalizing your emotions more often you’ll have a higher chance of connecting with a man.

Also, by understanding what this article tried to explain (that we are incredibly different) you can change your perception on men and instead getting upset and saying “You don’t understand me!”…you can laugh inside and think to yourself, “Haha, you don’t have the ability to understand me, you primitive creature”.

Human Relationships: Women communicate much better than men, they focus on how to create a solution that works for the entire group, talking through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion and empathy. Men on the other hand, tend to be more task oriented, less talkative and more isolated. Men have a hard time understanding emotions that are not spoken, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. These differences clearly explain why men and women sometimes have difficulty in communication and why men-to-men friendships look different from friendships among women.

What does this mean? If you ever had a conversation with a man and got deep into a subject but yet felt like you spoke a completely different language well, this is to blame. In your first steps to understanding men this is the first thing you need to comprehend, MEN ARE DIFFERENT. They are so different in fact that sometimes we can’t even communicate but, if you can try to lower yourself to our level of communication, which means vocalizing the majority of your emotions, you’ll have a much better chance at properly communicating with a man.

Now, I’m not telling you to vocalize absolutely everything that you’re feeling but when a man asks you if something is wrong and you say “Nothing” you need to understand that unless you actually TELL HIM what’s wrong, he won’t have the slightest clue. Sure, you’re best friends get you and maybe even your husband if you’ve been together for years but, the average guy or even your 2 year long boyfriend won’t. Lowering yourself down to our more simple way of communicating will only make life easier for all of us.

Left brain vs both hemispheres: Experts have proven that men process better in the left hemisphere while women tend to process equally well between the two hemispheres. This difference clearly shows why men are stronger with left-brain activities and approach problem solving from a task-oriented perspective while women typically solve problems more creatively and are more aware of feelings while communicating.

What does this mean? This task oriented approach means men think in the following manner when trying to solve a problem:  “In order to solve this problem I will need to get this done first, then this other thing, then this and then they all fit into place and get this done”. Multitasking? There’s no such thing as multitasking when it comes to men…This also explains why men get angry when you are multitasking (e.g talking to them and doing something else) because they simply can’t understand what you’re doing. This is another prime example that will get you closer to accepting just how different men are and proves why men are better in some jobs (programming, business) and women in others (teaching, caretaking).

Mathematical Abilities: An area in the brain called the inferior-parietal lobule (IPL) is typically significantly larger in men, especially on the left side, than in women. This is the section responsible with mathematical ability, and probably explains why men perform higher in mathematical tasks than do women. What’s even more interesting is that this area of the brain that was abnormally large in Einstein. The IPL also processes sensory information, and the larger right side in women allows them to focus on, “specific stimuli, such as baby crying in the night”.

Reaction to stress: In stress situation men have a response reaction that resembles “fight or flight” while women react with a “tend and befriend” strategy. Psychologist Shelly E. Taylor first came up with the phrase “tend an befriend” after noticing that during times of stress women tend to take care of themselves and their children (tending) and form strong group bonds (befriending). The reason behind these different reactions to stress is down to hormones. When someone is under stress the hormone oxytocin is released into the body. In men, testosterone reduces the effects of oxytocin as it is produced in high volumes during stress; this explains the reason for the “fight or flight” response. In women, estrogen amplifies the effects of oxytocin resulting in calming and nurturing feelings.

Language: The two sections in the brain which are responsible for language have been found to be significantly larger in women than in men, indicating one reason why women typically excel in language-based subjects and in language-associated thinking. It’s also important to mention that men typically process language in one hemisphere whilst women process it in both. This differences offers a bit of protection in case of a stroke, as women may be able to recover fully from a stroke affecting the language areas in the brain while men may not have this same advantage.

Emotions: The most obvious difference is probably the emotions. Women have a larger deep limbic system than men, it allows them o be more in touch with their feelings and better able to express themselves, which promotes bonding with others. This is one of the reasons why women serve as caregivers for children. Sadly this comes with a downside as this larger deep limbic system also opens women up to depression, especially during times of hormonal shifts such as after childbirth or during a woman’s menstrual cycle.

What does this mean? Again, as I’ve mentioned above, women are much better at communicating than men so, if you want to be understood by a man you need to lower yourself to his level of communication. Vocalize what you are feeling and he will have a much easier time in understanding you. Don’t give up saying, “ah men don’t understand me”, try to make them understand and you will see that your love life success will greatly improve.

Also, it’s worth mentioning that some men understand these differences themselves and will, in turn, try to take advantage of your emotional brain by making you feel good all of the time. Sure, this may sound great, but in reality many of the men that understand this concept, often use it for their own benefit . However, it’s also important to note that many of these men live to please and if you can “keep” them you’re on the right track for a lifetime of happiness.

Brain Size: Typically, men’s brains are 11-12% bigger than women’s brains. Sadly, this difference in size has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence, but does explain the difference in size between men and women. Men need a bigger brain to control their bigger bodies and muscles.

Pain: Men and women perceive pain differently. Studies have shown that women need more morphine to reach the same level of pain reduction. They have also shown that woman vocalize their pain and seek treatment much quicker than men. During pain, an area of the brain called the amygdala is activated. Research has shown that in men the right amygdala (controls external functions) is activated and in women the left amygdala (controls internal functions) is activated. This is the reason women seem to perceive pain more intensely than men, although they can withstand higher levels of pain (childbirth).

So what can we draw from this article? Most importantly the fact that men and women are completely different. This is actually funny when you think about it because we can’t live without each other. Couples are essentially a better human being. Because both the male and female perspectives are shared regarding any life situation, life as a couple should be genuinely easier than single life. As we can say “They complete each other.

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A letter from an Aborted baby.

Dear Mommy and Dadda,

I woke up one day and felt myself in a dark yet very comfortable place and i got so excited when I began realizing my existence. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. I enjoyed days spent with you. I love the food you ate. Mommy, like you, I also love cheese sandwich.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and said ‘Dadda, Please don’t hurt my mom and hugged you from inside, hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much until one day you, when you punch your womb and hated me. I felt more hurt than pain.

You came to your doctor and that same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in, my home. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, “Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me.”

Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn’t anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn’t stop.

Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.

Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you anymore I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn’t; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your son. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn’t know the words you could understand.

And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me away to a wonderful place…

Then I was happy, I was in heaven. I asked the angel what was the thing that killed me. He answered, “Abortion”. I am sorry, for I know how it feels.” I don’t know what abortion is; I guess that’s the name of the monster.

I’m writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little son. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn’t; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. I felt pain but as long as for your happiness, I died. I’m happy for you now. I didn’t you to suffer for me. Its okay if they ripped me off and thrown me in garbage bag and got incinerated.

Mommy, now please be happy, I’m gone now for your sake and i’m happy and i’ll be waiting for you, here, in heaven. I’m planning for stuff I’ll be having in heaven with you. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.

Love,
Your aborted Baby.

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